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Rika
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Wysłany: Pią 12:34, 22 Lut 2013 Temat postu: |
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Wreszcie zdążyłam przeczytać, zanim wkleiłaś kolejny fragment .
Możesz wklejać następny, niech ja już w końcu wiem, że on nie umrze, bo takie sprawia wrażenie na końcu każdego odcinka. To jest silny facet, AMG, pamiętasz o tym, mam nadzieję?
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AMG
Bonanzowe forum to mój dom
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Wysłany: Pią 12:54, 22 Lut 2013 Temat postu: |
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rika napisał: | Możesz wklejać następny, niech ja już w końcu wiem, że on nie umrze, bo takie sprawia wrażenie na końcu każdego odcinka. To jest silny facet, AMG, pamiętasz o tym, mam nadzieję? ![Wink](http://picsrv.fora.pl/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif) |
O mało się nie zakrztusiłam przy jedzeniu.
Oczywiście, że pamiętam, że jest silny. Inaczej nie przeszedłby przez to wszystko, co mu serwuję, nie?
No to teraz chyba będziesz zadowolona... jakoś bardziej mi to optymistycznie wyszło...
Evening found Adam working on the books. He’d had another nap at home, and countless small cups of light broth. Hop Sing feared his stomach may not accept anything stronger after being empty or almost empty for some days, but promised something more substantial for supper if Adam’s body accepted the nourishment. It was fine with Adam. He preferred small portions for now, the warmth spreading inside his body as each cup awakened energy within him. Thus, energy awoken, he sought to busy himself. Chores had been expressly forbidden today – tomorrow – possibly over the next few days, knowing his father – but he finally had an open mind for paperwork.
He was making steady progress through the ledgers, and that helped his mind. Feeling useful – and effective – was a welcome change. He finished another part and laid the papers carefully to the side, together with everything else completed, when a large shadow fell over the desk. Glancing up, he saw his two brothers standing over him in a united, grave-faced front. What now?
The two exchanged uneasy glances, then suddenly Joe spoke up.
“We wanna apologise, Adam. For what happened. I mean – for what we said. What I said.”
Adam shook his head, but they misconstrued his meaning, and Joe got more insistent, Hoss’ silent bulk supportive beside him. “We shouldna... You were right all the time, I know that now. I’m sorry. We’re sorry.” He sought his brother’s face. “Can you forgive us?”
Adam shook his head again at what he was hearing; misunderstanding, Joe drew slightly back in hurt, but his brother’s voice stopped him.
“You were only saying what I was thinking,” said Adam softly. That took them by surprise, and they stared at him as he continued. “I wasn’t sure if I was acting right; I chose what I thought best, but sometimes even the best ain’t enough. You had the right to show me any doubts and any other ways of acting you could see.”
“We woulda been wrong,” said Hoss softly.
“That’s why I was glad the decision was mine, and mine alone.”
“We went right with ya, Adam,” his brother indicated, but Adam shook his head.
“The decision was mine. I pulled the lever. We were all deep in that...” he hesitated, “... situation... and had to act together, and you knew it. But I made the decision. You were there to help me decide if it was right.”
“Some help we were,” Joe leaned on the desk, too restless to stand still.
“Like I said – you helped me see the doubts, the questions, possible other choices. That’s what advice is about.”
This time Hoss snorted. “Get off your high horse, older brother. You ain’t been happy with what we said, and we did lots to make it worse on ya. Ya worked it over in your head when ya been missing ‘till ya twisted it all around.”
Adam made a face. “What I actually did realise when I was – missing, was that it would be too much for each of us to go through that. One man’s enough. In other words, I was quite happy you could avoid the struggle with responsibility.”
“But you were still mad when I came to take you home.” Joe challenged him with a look.
“Surprised. Reluctant, maybe.”
“Plain mad, Adam.” Joe leaned towards him. “I know ya. I’ve seen you mad often enough. You speak different, you look different. You – were – mad – with me.”
A protest settled on the tip of his tongue, but the words hit home.
“No, Joe.” He raised a hand to stop the protest. “I mean, yes and no. I guess I was mad with myself. Mad – isn’t even the word to describe it.”
“Pa told us how Bryant lied to ya.” Hoss’ voice flew gently as a breeze and warm like a hug.
“Was it ‘cause of that that you were mad?” Oh, Joe. So grown and yet so innocent. Sound like a kid...
“Was it ‘cause of that ya were going away? Canada-ways?”
He frowned at Hoss’ question.
“Ya always talk of leaving when you’re hurt bad, and when ya feel guilty,” Hoss said openly. “That’s why ya didn’t let us know where you were? Why you hid under a false name? ‘Cause ya wanted to escape from here?”
He accuses me of escaping. – And what else was I doing? What else was I doing all those times but escaping?
Not from here, Hoss. From myself.
“I went through the newspapers,” he admitted hoarsely. “There was nothing... to indicate trouble. One reporter or other would surely write if anything big happened. But you’re right, I should have come. I wasn’t thinking clear.” I just wanted to escape. I was so tired with it all, the tension, the hate of myself, the responsibility. I am still tired. “I should have checked that everything was alright with you...”
“... before you left?” Joe jumped in to finish the sentence.
Adam bit his lip, but it didn’t help, the words were tumbling out by themselves. “Would you feel like going home sweet home after you had killed your own father?”, he asked in a silky voice, but the growl beneath was just barely hidden. The words hit his brothers, he could see it, and regretted them, but there was no way of taking them back now.
Prudently employing his hands, he stacked neat files of papers on the desk, then put some of them in the drawer. “I think that’s enough for today. Supper’s gonna be ready soon.”
“That’s it?” Joe’s incredulous voice stopped him mid-rise. “ ‘Supper’s ready’ and everything’s fine with the world?”
A smile blossomed somewhere within him and actually made it to his face. “Isn’t it? Pa’s fine, we’re all home safe and sound, Bryant’s gone. Anything else you might wish for?”
“Forgiveness?”
Adam sighed. “You have it any time you want it, little brother. Any of you.” He watched their suddenly blushed faces. “It’s not like any of us was responsible for the mess we were thrown in. Bryant was.” There was someone to blame, and that felt good. Maybe he could even shift some of his own gnawing guilt on Bryant, if he worked on it hard enough. “Let’s go eat, I see Hop Sing has already set the table. He wants to fatten me up a bit, and we wouldn’t want to disappoint him.”
“No, brother, we wouldn’t.” Hoss heavy arm crushed his shoulders and guided him towards the table, Joe resting his hand lightly on Adam’s back.
“Next time we’ll support you, Adam, whatever you say. You can count on it.”
“Do me a favour, Joe.” Adam stopped and turned his head to his brother in horror that was only partially faked. “Let’s have no next times. The last one was too much already.”
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Rika
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Wysłany: Pią 14:15, 22 Lut 2013 Temat postu: |
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AMG napisał: | “Isn’t it? Pa’s fine, we’re all home safe and sound, Bryant’s gone. Anything else you might wish for?” |
"Happiness?
Rika sighed..."
Ale optymizmem trochę powiało. Zefirek, ale zawsze to coś.
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Ostatnio zmieniony przez Rika dnia Pią 14:20, 22 Lut 2013, w całości zmieniany 1 raz
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Wysłany: Wto 16:02, 26 Lut 2013 Temat postu: |
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Wymagalna jesteś...
Coż... pora dobić... o pardon, dogonić króliczka
Dirk Johnson urged the horses to a faster pace, but without much enthusiasm. The land was good, but they had found the house in dire need of repair, and for that they lacked money, what with hiring men and paying the foreman. He now had to go over the proposal from the bank, and recalculate expenses to see if he could avoid taking a loan.
Sitting quietly beside him was Lottie. She knew little about complex financial matters, but knew very well when he was worried, and didn’t want to irritate him with empty chatter when he had his mind full. So full it was, as a matter of fact, that he hadn’t paid attention to what was before them until she grabbed his arm.
“Dirk, look!”
Before them was the house. However, it did not stand there lonesome and wearily tilted to one side, as they’d left it, but the site was buzzing with activity.
“Sam!” Dirk jumped off and grabbed the passing foreman. “What’s going on here? What are these men doing here?”
“The neighbourly thing to do.” Dirk turned on his heel at the sound of the familiar voice. Adam Cartwright smiled broadly at him and touched his hat to Lottie. “Hoss remembered that the house looked bad, so we came over to help a little.”
“A little?” Dirk gaped in amazement at the working men. There had to be at least a dozen!
“We’ve already repaired the wall, so it’s safe to be working on the roof now.” Adam pushed his hat back, grinning. True enough, there were three men on the roof, and Dirk recognised Joe among them.
“Good thing you ain’t up there,” he mumbled, but Adam caught it.
“They shooed me off. I helped with the wall, though. So happens I’m an engineer.” He flashed his teeth again. “Within two more hours we should be done, and you’ll be able to live inside.”
He gasped a little when a petite ball of energy hit him, then gave a small laugh. “Lottie, you’ll break my ribs!”
“Thank you.” At a loss for words, she repeated her thanks some two or three more times, then grabbed Dirk’s arm and hugged it in sheer happiness. Unable to contain herself, she started hopping on one leg, then looked back over to where Adam stood.
“Are ya fine now, Adam?”
He grinned at her, for her animated face exuded contagious joy.
Fine? If I can sleep without the dreams, perhaps. If I can get rid of the gnawing guilt deep in my gut. If I can forgive myself for running out on my brothers at the first occasion. If I can stop the what-ifs tumbling inside my head.
Will it ever feel “fine”? Can it ever?
“Yes, Lottie. Getting better every day.”
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Ostatnio zmieniony przez AMG dnia Wto 16:02, 26 Lut 2013, w całości zmieniany 1 raz
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Wysłany: Wto 16:03, 26 Lut 2013 Temat postu: |
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THE END
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Wysłany: Wto 19:45, 26 Lut 2013 Temat postu: |
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Jednak nie umarł! Aż dziwne , pracujesz nad tym, jak widzę. Jeszcze trochę a i szczęśliwy może będzie?
A tak trochę poważniej - temat tego odcinka do najlżejszych nie należy, więc i fanfik musiał trochę tego ciężaru przejąć. I przejął.
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